fbpx

Support Centre

Home > Support Centre > Menopause > Low sex drive and painful sex

Low sex drive and painful sex

Menopause symptoms and treatments.

Low sex drive and painful sex

Having less interest in sex generally is a common consequence of the perimenopause and menopause. This may be combined with feeling less arousal, pleasure and finding it harder to orgasm. For some women, sex can become painful due to vaginal dryness and soreness around the vulva. There are effective treatments for these symptoms, (see vaginal dryness symptom).

Being in the mood for sex is multifactorial and depends on your emotional and physical wellbeing as well as your hormones. Hormone disruption can definitely play a part in lowering sex drive and resulting in it being less pleasurable, but it’s not usually as simple as hormones alone. Stress, how tired you are, how emotionally close and attracted you feel towards your partner, how you feel about your own sexuality, and how your general health is are just a few other factors that come into the mix and should be considered.

Sex should always be consensual and you shouldn’t feel pressured into having sex when you don’t want to. Communication is key, so it’s vital to talk to your partner about how you’re feeling and a conversation may be easier when not right in the moment.

Have a look at our ways to help, but if things are still difficult, you could talk to a therapist for further support.

Book a consultation.

If you have any questions or concerns about your health, please book a consultation.

Don’t worry alone, we’re here to help.

Ways to help

  • Get help for your hormones and consider taking HRT, including testosterone which can boost sex drive.
  • You can use oestrogen directly in the vagina and around the vulva in the form of a cream, gel, pessary or ring. This will help lubricate the vagina, make it more stretchy and reduce soreness and irritation of the vulva.
    • Dr Natalie Summerhill will be happy to discuss these treatments with you
  • Use plenty of lube for penetrative sex. Choose skin-kind ones that don’t contain glycerin, petroleum, parabens, scents, flavours or dyes. You can spread it over the vulva as well, and spread it on anything entering the vagina (penis/fingers/sex toy).
  • Try vaginal moisturisers. These aren’t for sex, they are to hydrate the area on a regular basis to generally make things more comfortable down below. Use them regularly, but at different times if also using vaginal oestrogen treatment.
  • Read up on intimacy exercises and give some a try to feel closer to your partner, these include making time for each other, non-sexual physical touch, date nights, telling your partner what you like about them and are grateful for and so on.